At our age...

I was hanging out with my sweet grandmother yesterday at our family Easter gathering. We were talking about her recent sixtieth wedding anniversary, and she said that she felt like it had changed the way she looked at things. She told me about how they like to grab a burger when they're in town, she and my grandfather. The doctors in charge of my grandfather's pace maker closely monitor his data, and my grandmother told me that during one phone call, the nurse had asked if he ate salt. My grandmother had told her that yes, actually, they had decided that at their age they should be able to indulge from time to time. The nurse had laughingly agreed. I did too! The conversation continued, and she told me she had started being more willing to just tell people that no, they couldn't make it to events late at night, and that she didn't feel bad.

I laughed and told her I agreed. And I do. We're only here for a while, to work and to play. We should maximize our time, yes. We we should also maximize the life in our days. Sometimes that means taking on risk. Sometimes it means protecting your private time, especially if you're an introvert like me. Sometimes it means stepping outside your comfort zone and taking time away from yourself.

Living life well, I realize more and more, is about balance. Challenge the status quo, but not to the point it becomes far too heavy or stressful. Work through stress to challenge the status quo. Yin and yang. Light and dark. We all have a little of each. We can't overfeed one and neglect the other. Fuel them both. Feel good.

... a sad moment.

I just read Gabriel Garcia-Marquez has passed away. I stopped what I was doing, and came to sit down to type my feelings out, as though people care that I'm quite attached to an old man author I've never met.

But I am.

And so I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes.

To say I adore Gabo's style is light. I read his books during a complicated time in my life. I loved his work. Ardently. I would feverishly read until untold hours in the morning, drag myself through a day's work in retail, sneak blips of reading as often as I could between customers... devouring his books.

When I found out I was pregnant, Paul suggested we name the Hobbes-it after a character in one of my books... I told him Aureliano probably wasn't a great name.

I had, for some reason, held out hope I'd somehow meet Gabo someday. Now I don't even have that.

*sigh* So is life, I suppose.

Ladies and Gentlemen!

I'm pleased to make an exciting announcement, and I can't think of a better place than here...

Thursday afternoon, I was chosen to be the director of a new joint effort of Get Fit Tullahoma and the Highland Rim Bicycle Club. The program (as yet unofficially named) will repurpose bikes seized by the police department for a bike rebuilding program for local youngsters who need a bike for transportation and fitness.

The bike has been a game-changer for me, and if you know me, you know how passionate I am about helping other people gain access to that gift. Studies have repeatedly shown the benefits of cycling to school for youngsters, in the form of better grades, greater responsibility, and increased ability to solve complex problems.

But I firmly believe the bike is more than just a tool for better education and better health. It's an everpresent challenge, a symphony of work and reward. It's the basis of a community of people with whom I adore and love to spend time.

On the surface, it may look like we are simply helping kids rebuild a bike and a simple mentorship program. It's so much more. It's a tool for betterment in every area of their lives. I'm ecstatic to begin this new journey :)

Brace for Failure.

I always see these motivational pictures floating around on Facebook and Pinterest (they likely exist on Twitter and Tumblr too... I knoweth not.) that say something like, "What would you do if you knew you could not fail?"

ohhh... jazzzzzzy.

So a fairy plops down in front of you, taps you with her twinkling wand of perfection, and you can't fail. Well, what would you do? If  it were me, and I was somehow immune to entropy, you know what I'd do? I'd start some random company that I never have to touch again, and do nothing really important. I'd ride my bike, and I'd hang out beside my backyard swimming pool and drink little cocktails with umbrellas all day, and hang out with my husband and boy. The inability to fail wouldn't entice me to greatness. Frankly, the whole bit about not failing sounds like happy hyperbole.

Let's flip a table here, like a drunk girl in a restaurant. (You know who you are!)

What would you undertake if you knew you would fail at everything?

Freedom from failure, entropy, suffering... not inspiring. But what if you knew that no matter what you did, you'd fail? Because, generally speaking, that's the reality we face. Would you lay there and not try anything? Or (OR!!) would you try everything, accepting failure as the inevitable result and enjoying the journey to failure? Would you try crazy, unbelievable, beautiful things? The things you always wanted to do? Would you be willing to fail beautifully, to drop your guard, and fall hard?

I get it... failure and suffering hurt. I talked about that the last time...

The big concept I'm aiming at here is that maybe all failure isn't bad? If we stop punishing ourselves for failure, we open doors to huge opportunities to change our lives, others lives, the world around us.