26 February, 2015

Magic Man: A stream of thought synopsis.

Many of you are aware of my general disdain for Stevie Nicks. "Go Your Own Way" is pretty much the only Fleetwood Mac song I actually like, and while Lindsey Buckingham can bust out a tune on his guitar, Nick's voice is far to likened to nails on a chalkboard to ever be enjoyable.

**NEWSFLASH**

In my search for the lyrics to this song, I just discovered it is, in fact, a Heart song. But lets go ahead with my thoughts on the lyrics and general composition.

*First few chords strum across the radio*

Not this song again. I hear it every day I'm at the gym. He's a magic maaaaan. Shut up.

*Lyrics begin*

If it's cold and late, what are you doing out? Shouldn't you be:
A. At the bar, drinking?
B. At home, in bed?

Stop playing helpless, too. This, "Oh, I was so weak" thing is irritating... you have control of your feelings! Don't fall into the trap! But every single time, this dumb girl ends up with the Magic Maaaaaan.

And just for the record, if some skeezy man walks up to you on a cold, late night, be sure you have your mace. This one sounds like a real winner, asking you to come along and get high a while. This sounds straight out of some episode of Intervention.

*Next verse*

So her mom calls, begging her to reconsider her affinity for this creepy dude, who keeps telling her he's a Magic Man. Did he introduce himself to her mother that way? And if she's young enough to be hassled by her mom about these poor choices, it seems to me Mr. Man should possibly face conviction on charges of influencing a minor, and at the very least statutory rape. He sounds like a predatory psychopath.

Then, in the following verse, he as much as admits that he's been seducing a youngster, telling her he made a woman from a child with his "magical hands..."

Look, ladies. If a fellow ever approaches you and tells you he's a Magic Man, offers you drugs, and wants you to come home with him, I suggest you rethink that. This song is ingratiatingly irritating. It's not the apparent age difference of the lovers. I'm not victim blaming. But the tone of this song reads "helpless idiot" and sounds like the penner needs more help than just her mom calling her on the phone. This guy clearly displays tendencies toward victimization. The girl needs to give him a solid smack across the face.

The arrangement is also questionable, resembling music from a second rate haunted house from the 70s.

Please, radio stations. STOP PLAYING THIS TERRIBLE SONG.